Communication is the first thing anyone learns about. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say or ask for what we really need.
Based on this statement, I will say that I was born with a knack for communicating. I thought I could easily and verbally "communicate" everything and to everyone with minimal ease. I later learnt that I was termed as the “chatter box” of the group. I have never been called "BBC world service", which I assume is worse than being called a chatterbox.
As a chatterbox, I was also termed to be a ‘good talker’ in comparison to a ‘good listener’. A good talker in my opinion never has time to judge people; in fact, they never get to learn enough about the other person to judge them in the first place. So I was possibly floozy but amiable, vacuous but gregarious, funny but not a comedian and definitely full of fun and laughter. As a young chatterbox, I always found it easy to make friends wherever I went, I was liked and accepted more effortlessly and I was always loved by elders (and no, I was never their secret agents spying on the young ones). I was like Tweety chirping away mindless talk.
And than I grew up and learnt that communication is a two-way process!
With age and maturity I have discovered that being tweety is not always appreciated. We don’t have time to say everything or anything at all (in some cases) to everyone. As I transgressed from the active form of a talker to a more passive listener I have started noticing things about people I never did before. I learnt the word empathy as compared to sympathy and discovered that it was more rewarding.
And just as suddenly, I realized I had set standards for myself on the basis of chatter levels which I never did before. Indeed, there are some things, if said unconsciously that could sound “rude”, “mean”, “unfeeling” and “nonsensical” to the recipient which we never had to worry about when we were kids. Let the world suffer, what did we care? I also developed a sixth sense about when to say what and under what situations and it all boils down to respect for others. So no longer are those days here when a mild comment such as "why do you always braid your hair, you do not look cool" has been replaced with "your braids are beautiful, but you will look better if you leave your hair loose". Besides, time has become extremely precocious and any instant to empathize or listen, leave alone talk is increasing becoming difficult.
From my point of view, I call it “growing up”. No more do I mindlessly walk into a room and scream ”helloooo” anymore unless I am ready for a few surprise stares. Meanwhile, elders are not so comfortable with silence, they prefer chittar chatter and transparency. It’s also not so easy anymore to make friends when you prefer being a stoic “listener” for the better period of time. In fact, some people are most definitely intimidated with silence and eye contact no matter what.
And than, somewhere along the way, a little obstacle to communication called the “ego” too has crept up sneaking. Ego, I have learnt, is a word that expresses a wish to be appreciated as a person with values. As I see it now, I realize that people with very less ego in them are freer with words than a person with more of that lethal stuff but that could differ from person to person. It’s just a matter of choice and balance, self confidence, skills in communication and knowledge. With experience, I have finally realized that “Communication is definitely a tool, once learnt can be quite an important aspect of our life, it can portray to others about what we are and what they mean to us and it's wholly up to us to decide what or how to communicate."
