When I was a kid I used to say, "When I grow up I want to be." Then while I wasn't paying attention, one day, childhood snuck away from me and suddenly I found myself up. I wasn't as prepared as I would like to have been. Who am I kidding? I wasn't prepared at all. I looked out into the world and for the first time I took notice of the pressures that lay before me. They're everywhere. Pressure to act, pressure to try, pressure to follow, pressure to become. The list is too long. Even though no one ever has to really say a word because we have enough criticism within ourselves to pressure us for a lifetime. It's true we are the hardest on ourselves than anyone else.
It's hard enough trying to be still for five minutes when drive-thru's and microwaves aren't fast enough anymore. Suddenly life has become a race and we've fallen into the trap of comparing. But to who's standard? And are standards supposed to change? Because every time I turn around the world has a new set. Loose morals. That's what they are. It's whatever feels comfortable; whatever feels good. It's being spread across the entire earth like a sick disease, and the killer? Conformity.
And then there's disappointment. It likes to walk by your side when you hit that age when you're not where you pictured yourself to be twenty, ten, or five years ago. That's when you have to learn to ease up on yourself and make contentment your friend because no matter how many years we live, we still have a while to go. And no matter how many struggles, sufferings or mistakes we go through we still have a lot more of those coming our way too. So after all is thought through you reach a point where you realize that "In me I Trust" really wasn't just a nice quote to decorate our memory.
Yesterday someone asked me, in all seriousness, what I want to be when I grow up. At first I laughed at the feeling I got of being a kid again. I haven't been asked that question for about fifteen years. It got me thinking though. No matter how many times I didn't meet my expectations there's always been room for another chance. I've just recently come to realize that age is not the issue. The issue is we can be whatever we want to be, and we can start today by working towards it, never conforming to what we don't believe in.
“"You are today where your thoughts have brought you, you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." James Allen, author
