Eight Things You Would Hate About Me

More than a month ago, my friend Imti tagged me with the Memeaphilia. The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

I have to admit that this took me a long time to decide upon. I remember when, seven years ago, I had walked in for a job interview in Marketing and the first thing I was asked was to state out my weak habits and I had replied with stark confidence, “I don’t have any!” Needless to say, I got the job.

However, this time, I actually had to take a poll from my friends to find out what they hate about me and it was more difficult than I thought it would be. Like, how difficult is it for people to just say “ oh what’s not nice about you is….”, but everyone is very nice nowadays and are more subtle than they used to be when I was in school.

So finally, after deciphering nodes, stares and smiles with a few comments, I have come up with my list.

· Habit: Whenever I am in a new place or there is a special occasion I simply have to take pictures. I remember when I was young, I had this ridiculously huge lens camera with a gigantic flash and I made people pose for hours during the occasion to the point of frustration. However, it also means I have more childhood snaps than any of my classmates.

· Habit: I tend to forget names, faces and places where people work. I tried reading a book on it to improve my memory where we were advised to associate each new face with a word or a character and than link it to the name. It worked for a while until I forgot what characters I had associated it with. I had more difficulty remembering the words and characters more than the people.

· Fact: I am a tad too confident when it comes to decision making and proving points. I would lay the foundations of such a fact emanating in my life to my honorable friends who have been terribly supportive all my life to the point of even spoiling me a bit. Whatever I ever said always “seemed” to make a little sense or I just assumed it did. Sometimes it can make me a bit independent in nature. I just try not to let it bother other’s lives. In future, however, I will have to learn how to listen, cooperate and appreciate other's thoughts while and during decision making.

· Fact: I can appear to be utterly cold and unromantic when it comes to matters of the heart. Some might even call me a bit insensitive. The good point is that its just an exterior that I use as a shield sometimes to feel less vunerable.

· Fact: I am not easily flattered. In fact, too many compliments a day could actually turn me suspicious. Sincere compliments however, is another matter altogether.

· Fact: If I do not believe in a certain cause, nothing but blind love can allow me to join it.

· Fact: I am scared of anything that borders around Scary, Freaky and Horror encompassed. All my friends that had good reasons to cajole me to watch horror movies even on the tiniest screen possible have been duly disappointed. So please think twice. It won't be worth the trouble, I swear.

And finally....the eight one...

I think I will have to do another research to find that out.

Rush Hours and Singapore Trip Ahead

It so happens that each time the clock turns 12, I sigh. Another day swishes by, and the days are going so fast its difficult to keep track of time. I am extremely busy these days, I wonder if things will get worse in the coming months at work.

I am looking forward to my trip to Singapore this weekend. I need to lay down my hair and really relax for a change. I still have thousands of things to do before my trip. As always, it all gets piled up till the end of the tenth hour.

The Money Angel

Money, money, money!

Drowning in plenty, Who can value anything. When nothing is denied? Foolish ads we all heed. Then buy things we don’t need, Driven by greed that Can’t be satisfied.

Poem by Neil Harding McAlister

Today a lot of people sent around this forward on Money Angel. After deleting it a couple of times, I finally smiled and decided to put it on my blog.

The song by BoneyM "Money Money Money" has a catchy tune and is an old time favorite. It has that word in it that rings in your ears for a long long time. (There is a word for this that escapes my mind right now). Ever since I was a tiny blob I had learnt the value of money, starting from the time I started saving up to buy a white ink whitener at the age of 7yrs.

I have learnt over the years that money addiction never goes away once it begins. We always feel that if we earn more we can save more and all that. But in reality, we realise that in our niche of the society, the more we earn, the bigger our needs get.

So the idea is to watch out for the money addiction bug and than, happy shopping!

Thinking Outside the Box

Here is a picture taken at a colleague’s wedding last week. I have been working at my present company for almost three years and I have never been happier. (Touchwood)

But career life was not always this happy. In my life, I have met people who have not been very appreciative of my presence in this world. They are the ones that provide those negative vibes that I tend to avoid. Every time one of us meets such a person, do we really sit back and reflect why these people do what they do, and why to us? In this fast paced life, I hardly have time to deal with people and their problems. But what if the problem lies with us?

The weirdest things happened to me after I got back to town and got myself a good job. Initially, people who appeared friendly, and who in fact I had known from before, suddenly besieged me into an arena filled with negative vibes that threw me off balance. I tried everything possible to get back into their acceptable books, but nothing deemed successful, not even when I remembered birthdays, wedding ceremonies and so on.

With internal objection from certain colleagues, I had several incidences that had me reduced to tears in an attempt to fit in. I had my computer wires dismantled, username on my logon address changed slightly so that I was not aware of it at moments of emergency. I have been alienated from social groups at the workplace, and when I tried being friendly I was looked upon with ironic indifference. I was talked about in whispers and I was avoided in public places.

After so many years now, after joining a new company, whenever I go back to visit my ex colleagues, not only are they really friendly but they actually are very nice. So, finally I have learnt that whatever the cause was for their initial behavior while I was working there, it was not because of who I was.

Every time we face disapproval, our instant thought is to take it personally, but over time, I have learnt that things are usually not personal. There might be an event, an occasion or a situation that could be causing this behavior from others. So, before we force ourselves to fall prey to negative feelings and self demotivation, we should try to "think outside the box".

"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." (Anne Frank, 1929-45, German Jewish diarist and holocaust victim, from The Diary of Anne Frank, entry dated 15 July 1944.)

A Rainy Day, Fever and Fond Memories

It rained heavily this morning bringing to the lives of people the respite they were seeking from the unbearable heat. Sometimes wishes do come true. Sometimes, like today, rain makes me melancholy.

When I lived in Bangalore, I would sit in my lovely balcony overlooking the garden, sipping a cup of herbal tea during weekends and reading a book. Today, however, while I stayed back home after the grueling week, I felt under the weather, and had to call in sick because I felt feverish and there was a numbing feeling in my limbs. It’s a rare incidence and it’s the time when I know that being productive is the last thing on my to-do list.

There were no unread books to soothe me today and the balcony at home is just not the same as it used to be in Bangalore. That reminded me that I needed to invest in some good books to read on my trip to Singapore after two weeks.

I have always loved traveling. I love seeing new places and I am totally comfortable being on my own. Some like company, some just love traveling for the sake of traveling. I fall in the group of the later, though having a good company would definitely make a trip even more worthwhile.

Today, suddenly I remembered my childhood Gujrati friend Pinky and wondered what she was up to these days. She was my look-alike twin back in school. We were best friends ever since kindergarten till grade six. When we parted I remember crying a lot. She had told me that she would invite me to her wedding as that was perhaps the monumental get-together occasion of all times. Back when I was young, 10 years seemed like a lifetime and parting always meant forever.

Strangely enough, she did invite me for her wedding which was over a decade ago. Now, the mother of two, she resides in London and suddenly we have reestablished contact which was surprising. She had told her hubby that she wanted to come to Bangladesh and put my picture in the papers. I did search for her on yahoo too all this time. With a stroke of good luck, she came across another contact who knew me and after one whole decade, one fine day she just called. Some day I look forward to the reunion, there will be some catching up to do.

This year, in August, another close friend from high school Samina is tying the knot and this is yet another wedding I will be missing out on. Like always, I tell myself, there will be a day, for the reunion. It’s strange how things turn out in future. People we think we shall always be in touch with somehow fades into the distance, and some people who we feel we will never meet again ends up being there forever. There is no telling how and who will be our dear ones in the journey of life. We can only cherish the friends we have right now and enjoy the times we spend with them while looking forward to those special few who come back into our lives.

Sounds Wrong but Feels Right

The most dangerous thing in this world is to live completely unconsciously. The state of the world is a stark testimony to this fact, as is the condition of the lives of most human beings. When we are not conscious, we are not only ruled by our subconscious programming, we are a puppet of the global unconscious. Now that is scary!!

We all have examples in our lives where we have created turmoil and conflict without consciously choosing to do so. Who wouldn't choose prosperity, loving relationships, vibrant health, joyful living and rewarding work? Then why are so many people suffering from poverty, painful relationships, depression, illness and unrewarding work?

Why do we create so many problems and then have to spend so much time and energy dealing with them? The answer is lack of consciousness, which links us to the cycle of karma and struggle.

Yesterday, as I was dining with my friend, she wondered aloud about why we do the things we do, and whether our lives would have been different if we didn’t do them. There is no easy answer to that question. But I believe strongly, that if we are in touch with both our conscious and unconscious minds we won’t really go wrong and nor will we ever regret not listening to our intuition either.

“Each of us can be represented as an iceberg, with the larger part of ourselves deeply submerged. And there's a place in the depths where all of our icebergs come together, a place in the unconscious where we connect with each other”

Click here for more on this article…

The Month of May

In England, first thing in the morning of May 1st, young girls ran out into the garden to wash their face in dew. An old tale says that the May dew has magic properties and anyone who washes their faces in it will have lovely complexion throughout the year.

The month of May was named after the Greek goddess called Mala. It was first called May in 1430. Before that, it was called Maias, Mai or Mayes. Let see, the month of May also marks Labor Day and May Day.

This is a significant month for me. My brother was born this month many years ago and every time I wonder about the significance of the month that’s the first thing that comes to mind.

This was a busy month in my event calendar this year. I worked 27 days at a stretch without overtime incentives or extra assistance. Now I know what the Engineers at work feel like while they work day and night. I have successfully completed more projects in a month at work than I could have possibly done in the space of three months before. I see more pressure coming up.

To keep stress at bay, I organized a birthday for my brother; discovered two café’s called Déjà vu and Red Shift in town. Went to the first café Mango restaurant in Dhanmondi following a horror movie at CinePlex, which I didn’t quite watch as I had my eyes and ears closed most of the time.

I also attended a party at Ernesto’s celebrating Celtic festivals along with my friends and a colleague’s “ holud” and wedding.

The month yesterday ended amidst terrible heat wave sweeping through the country. People are falling prey to the tremendous adverse effects of the weather merged with electricity problems. A drop of rain would most certainly relieve the suffering.

Life is a Pencil

When I was young, I used to dream of pencils that were colorful, sharpened and beautiful. No matter from which side I tried to view the pencils, I could not see the entire picture. I just saw a side of it or an angle.

I always figured life was like a pencil. When its smooth, it writes better and faster, if its hard and rough, it has its uneven edge and sharpness to it. Eventually today, out of the blue, I came across this article, and it surprised me. It was something I used to think about when I was a little girl with ponytails.

“Does life have a purpose? Does it have real meaning? Is life anything more than a brief span on earth, with nothing but eternity on either side of this physical existence? This is the question of the ages, a riddle that has challenged human beings since they came to be. Why am I here? Why do I exist? Thousands of years ago, the biblical King David wondered about the purpose of man just as we do today. EVERY ONE OF US WAS CREATED FOR A PURPOSE, BUT FEW UNDERSTAND WHAT GREAT PURPOSE IS.”

A simple incident of using a pencil to hold my long hair in place at work today reminded me of my childhood dream to write about. Mind you, I don’t think I actually have enough time to think nowadays. Take for example, something that happened a few dawns back. As I was getting to work in a rush, my finger nail broke half way through, it hurt very much. I looked around for something similar to a band aid but couldn’t. Than, I realized that my office had a first aid box with lots of band aids. So, I went to work holding my finger delicately all the way while taking extra care of not bumping my hand against anything that would trigger pain.

I got back home almost at night that day, and realized that my finger nail still sorely needed a band aid or better still, have it cut. I had bumped my finger several times during the day and each time, I winced in pain and realized I needed it to be tended and kept putting it off.

That same day, I came home in a cab, which didn't have a wiper on it. Something that you really don’t get to notice until it rains. And it rained that day, heavily, halfway home, the driver to my utter horror stuck out his head, and drove the car through a busy highway, rain pelting down his face and flying through the window and drenching me to the bone. It took almost an hour to get home safe and sound, but I was so petrified, not to mention drenched that I went home shivering with a bit more than the cold. Now, I always check if the cab has a wiper, along with other necessities before I happily agree to ride in it.

Today, I got home and reflected on how to make my situation less stressful. So far, I have listed things down that I would require changing, especially as things are looking a lot more stressful in the next few days. I don’t know if I am going to dream of pencils again tonight, but at right now, I have a pen that works and that’s a blessing.

List of Priorities

I have learnt over the years that we require maintaining a list of priorities to get ourselves organized. I started by taking notes, using post aid stamps, timer on my mobile phones and of course there is a journal, a computer timer and the stick-on board in the office filled with papers, news articles, important phone numbers, urgent notes etc.

The problem is that organizing everything into slots gets so important that it takes a great amount of time organizing the time slots itself. For a person with a high demanding time frame, it’s difficult fitting everything else into slots. Eventually, something like going to the gym for a workout gets pushed into the recesses of the folder. And what may seem high priority now, might turn out to be found on the bottom of the list later.

One way to be organized that has helped me over the years is to handle only one piece of paper only once and than to stack it in a folder with a title. Besides, writing down things that needs to be organized also helps. The only problem occurs when knowing what exactly needs to be on the high priority list for now and which one needs can be actually pushed down a little notch lower, to be dealt with, just a bit later.

Sweet Slumber

Last night, after a long while, I slept well and I actually had a dream. The dream I don’t remember but I do remember getting up refreshed, hyper energized and ready to face the world with a smiling face.

Sleep can do wonders to the body, mind and soul. Even a few years back, I could just crash anywhere with bare minimum of sleeping arrangement and under any excuse of obtaining a little Beta zone-Therapy. But one thing detrimental to a good sleep is also a good waking mechanism for me. The waking mechanism has to be slow, steady and soothing. I have a nice song for my alarm.

In my childhood days, each morning, I remember my dad coming in to switch on lights, switching off the fans and air-conditioning, removing my blanket and massaging my head, hands and feet until I opened my eyes. As I grew older, it was replaced with a light tap on my door and a voice telling me I have to get up for office.

But, mostly, I have an inborn internal biological clock. My internal clock hasn’t failed me till now. In cases when I do not have access to an alarm, I tell myself that I have to get up at the dot of seven, and whey and behold; I am up at the dot of 7am. Today, while I was browsing the internet, I found something on this topic “How to wake up on time”. The article says that internal biological clock works for those that are light sleepers, those who go to bed at the same time each day amongst other things.

Some other links that I found interesting are

How to Wake Up On Time

How to Know How Much Sleep You Need

How to Treat Insomnia

How to Sleep Better

How to Fall Asleep

How to Cope With Sleep Paralysis

How to interpret your dreams

How to Sleep Well While Traveling

How to Wake Up Without an Alarm Clock