The Month of May

In England, first thing in the morning of May 1st, young girls ran out into the garden to wash their face in dew. An old tale says that the May dew has magic properties and anyone who washes their faces in it will have lovely complexion throughout the year.

The month of May was named after the Greek goddess called Mala. It was first called May in 1430. Before that, it was called Maias, Mai or Mayes. Let see, the month of May also marks Labor Day and May Day.

This is a significant month for me. My brother was born this month many years ago and every time I wonder about the significance of the month that’s the first thing that comes to mind.

This was a busy month in my event calendar this year. I worked 27 days at a stretch without overtime incentives or extra assistance. Now I know what the Engineers at work feel like while they work day and night. I have successfully completed more projects in a month at work than I could have possibly done in the space of three months before. I see more pressure coming up.

To keep stress at bay, I organized a birthday for my brother; discovered two café’s called Déjà vu and Red Shift in town. Went to the first café Mango restaurant in Dhanmondi following a horror movie at CinePlex, which I didn’t quite watch as I had my eyes and ears closed most of the time.

I also attended a party at Ernesto’s celebrating Celtic festivals along with my friends and a colleague’s “ holud” and wedding.

The month yesterday ended amidst terrible heat wave sweeping through the country. People are falling prey to the tremendous adverse effects of the weather merged with electricity problems. A drop of rain would most certainly relieve the suffering.

Life is a Pencil

When I was young, I used to dream of pencils that were colorful, sharpened and beautiful. No matter from which side I tried to view the pencils, I could not see the entire picture. I just saw a side of it or an angle.

I always figured life was like a pencil. When its smooth, it writes better and faster, if its hard and rough, it has its uneven edge and sharpness to it. Eventually today, out of the blue, I came across this article, and it surprised me. It was something I used to think about when I was a little girl with ponytails.

“Does life have a purpose? Does it have real meaning? Is life anything more than a brief span on earth, with nothing but eternity on either side of this physical existence? This is the question of the ages, a riddle that has challenged human beings since they came to be. Why am I here? Why do I exist? Thousands of years ago, the biblical King David wondered about the purpose of man just as we do today. EVERY ONE OF US WAS CREATED FOR A PURPOSE, BUT FEW UNDERSTAND WHAT GREAT PURPOSE IS.”

A simple incident of using a pencil to hold my long hair in place at work today reminded me of my childhood dream to write about. Mind you, I don’t think I actually have enough time to think nowadays. Take for example, something that happened a few dawns back. As I was getting to work in a rush, my finger nail broke half way through, it hurt very much. I looked around for something similar to a band aid but couldn’t. Than, I realized that my office had a first aid box with lots of band aids. So, I went to work holding my finger delicately all the way while taking extra care of not bumping my hand against anything that would trigger pain.

I got back home almost at night that day, and realized that my finger nail still sorely needed a band aid or better still, have it cut. I had bumped my finger several times during the day and each time, I winced in pain and realized I needed it to be tended and kept putting it off.

That same day, I came home in a cab, which didn't have a wiper on it. Something that you really don’t get to notice until it rains. And it rained that day, heavily, halfway home, the driver to my utter horror stuck out his head, and drove the car through a busy highway, rain pelting down his face and flying through the window and drenching me to the bone. It took almost an hour to get home safe and sound, but I was so petrified, not to mention drenched that I went home shivering with a bit more than the cold. Now, I always check if the cab has a wiper, along with other necessities before I happily agree to ride in it.

Today, I got home and reflected on how to make my situation less stressful. So far, I have listed things down that I would require changing, especially as things are looking a lot more stressful in the next few days. I don’t know if I am going to dream of pencils again tonight, but at right now, I have a pen that works and that’s a blessing.

List of Priorities

I have learnt over the years that we require maintaining a list of priorities to get ourselves organized. I started by taking notes, using post aid stamps, timer on my mobile phones and of course there is a journal, a computer timer and the stick-on board in the office filled with papers, news articles, important phone numbers, urgent notes etc.

The problem is that organizing everything into slots gets so important that it takes a great amount of time organizing the time slots itself. For a person with a high demanding time frame, it’s difficult fitting everything else into slots. Eventually, something like going to the gym for a workout gets pushed into the recesses of the folder. And what may seem high priority now, might turn out to be found on the bottom of the list later.

One way to be organized that has helped me over the years is to handle only one piece of paper only once and than to stack it in a folder with a title. Besides, writing down things that needs to be organized also helps. The only problem occurs when knowing what exactly needs to be on the high priority list for now and which one needs can be actually pushed down a little notch lower, to be dealt with, just a bit later.

Sweet Slumber

Last night, after a long while, I slept well and I actually had a dream. The dream I don’t remember but I do remember getting up refreshed, hyper energized and ready to face the world with a smiling face.

Sleep can do wonders to the body, mind and soul. Even a few years back, I could just crash anywhere with bare minimum of sleeping arrangement and under any excuse of obtaining a little Beta zone-Therapy. But one thing detrimental to a good sleep is also a good waking mechanism for me. The waking mechanism has to be slow, steady and soothing. I have a nice song for my alarm.

In my childhood days, each morning, I remember my dad coming in to switch on lights, switching off the fans and air-conditioning, removing my blanket and massaging my head, hands and feet until I opened my eyes. As I grew older, it was replaced with a light tap on my door and a voice telling me I have to get up for office.

But, mostly, I have an inborn internal biological clock. My internal clock hasn’t failed me till now. In cases when I do not have access to an alarm, I tell myself that I have to get up at the dot of seven, and whey and behold; I am up at the dot of 7am. Today, while I was browsing the internet, I found something on this topic “How to wake up on time”. The article says that internal biological clock works for those that are light sleepers, those who go to bed at the same time each day amongst other things.

Some other links that I found interesting are

How to Wake Up On Time

How to Know How Much Sleep You Need

How to Treat Insomnia

How to Sleep Better

How to Fall Asleep

How to Cope With Sleep Paralysis

How to interpret your dreams

How to Sleep Well While Traveling

How to Wake Up Without an Alarm Clock

Happens Only in Hindi Movies?

This is a statement that is analogous to any event where disbelief reigns in our real life. Take for example, where celebrating mother’s day in style brings forth tears of happiness. Or the surprise birthday party where the brother is so happy he doesn’t know how to express himself.

These were slight exaggeration from the immediate past events of my life. However, life has been busy, whose isn’t? But, with my friends in town, going through Hollywood, Bollywood and Tollywood phases in life, creating changes, depicting surprises, applauding happiness and overcoming pain, here's a peek at why we say "it happens only in hindi movies, and not English movies or Bengali movies".

Baghban : Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September!

Lagaan : Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.

Amar Akbar Anthony : Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.

Khalnayak : The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha : Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Raja : Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu : Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne : Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest !

Click Here to read the poem for the day: "Anything is possible"

Wishes Do Come True

A ram is said to run very fast up a mountain and than once it's up there, it doesn't really know what to do. Either to decide whether to walk back downhill or to enjoy the view. This was a characteristic trait painted for a particular horoscope character.

My life is not akin to the galloping nature of a ram. I possess qualities akin to that of a mountain goat, treading softly and climbing slowly, munching on grass or nails as I see fit. Once atop the mountain, I pause to take a pause, and muse and enjoy the view.

But, though satisfaction at victory may seem quite the norm, there can be disappointments too. Here, the wise sayings of mother Teresa “More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones” holds true for some of my prayers, not to a huge extent though. Take for instance when I went to Katmandu. I am not saying that Katmandu is not a highly unexpected disappointment but it didn't quite meet up to what I had wished it to look like, as I saw in the photographs. The temples were interesting and Pokhra was a sensational nature's paradise so my trip to Nepal wasn't a complete loss.

But, on the other hand, take the case of my possessing a laptop into realistic view. I had wanted my own personal official laptop for so long that when I got it, I was terribly overwhelmed. I took home work with glee, placed the dainty item on my table, which previously hosted only books and stationary and looked at it for a while. I couldn’t stop smiling, grappling with the feeling of being a proud owner of such a beauty. But, interestingly enough, the joy didn't last long. The laptop was cumbersome to carry to work and back home, besides taking home office work soon became a norm. After all, they gave me a laptop, it was expected to be made use of 24/7. Initially what seemed a convenience turned into a chore. Besides, for security reasons, I was not allowed to download personal software onto office property. Until finally, exasperation forced me to get my own gadget, which, mind you, I could have done initially without waiting for an office to provide me with it.

A year ago, a friend of mine, who has lived in Dhaka all her life, was musing about going abroad and living on her own. She punched buttons on the lift of her cousin's house and wondered when she will have the keys to her own apartment. It brought back memories of my own, and Ï gave her a big sparkling smile saying "one day, amigo, you shall". And whether she will enjoy having the key to her own apartment, remains to be seen. But, than what I am saying is, that in our joyous attempt to enjoy life, we overemphasize the phrase "joy". They say, even people who live in the mountains cease to see the beauty of it after a while.

So I believe, its important to know what we wish for, think about, because it may happen and because we really were not specific and we didn’t think it through enough, we may be unhappy with what we get. But, if we are in touch with reality and are more practical about our wants and needs in life, we tend to be less disappointed.

“As we think, so shall it be“! I believe too that we have the power to manifest whatever we focus on. Like the naked soul said, Our thoughts will become our reality. “I wish everything I touched turned to gold”, etc and we all remember what happened to King Midas, right?

"There are two things to aim at in life: First, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second." Logan Pearsall Smith.

Everything happens for a Reason

I got this thought today from Karishma and realised how right it vibed with my weekend.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

''Life may not be the party we expected but we might as well dance while we re here''.

This is for all my friends whose lives are on the verge of changes, for the few who are intending to make a few changes in the coming months and are rigorously planning and to those who have found success only by waiting for the right time. For those that are wondering about taking chances and are still at the precipice of decision making phases, wondering and wondering. All I can say is, if we dont grab life by the horns now, metamorphically speaking, when shall we?

Information Overload

An article on power of writing states that “Life-based writing is one of the most reliable and effective ways to heal, change and grow. ….“Journal therapy -- the purposeful and intentional use of reflective writing to further mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health and wellness -- is an effective means of providing focus and clarity to issues, concerns, conflicts and confusions”

I have realized that if I write down a purpose in life, a wish or a plan, I usually get around to doing it. This is synonymous with a training given to us about harboring a habit of writing down what we intend to do in the next 10 years, a month, a week or in a daily activity chart. The trainer, talked to us about how, when we write something down and intend to give it a timeline of perhaps 7yrs, we are more likely to get it down before 5yrs time frame is up.

Based on this theory, I decided to write down my wish list two days back and organize my life yesterday. I gave myself a week and today I have already crossed off a few things I intended to get around to doing by the end of the week. This included working on the transport issue and to get a healthy, eat healthy plan and more organized work life amongst other things.

But, what I didn’t count on was an eclipse of common observation in the heat of self absorption and directional focused strategical energy. So absorbed was I in my “planned-out- work- load” that I dialed my own number from the land line instead of the client’s number, turned on the speaker button on my desk phone and waited. My mobile phone rang on cue; without a second thought, I reached out, picked up my mobile phone without glancing at the screen as I had my eyes on the land phone. Than, to take the situation one step further into its heights of oblivion, I answered my own mobile phone and heard my own voice speaking out on the speaker phone. And even than, I frowned, wondering why the client sounded like me without instant realization.

A split second later, red with embarrassment, hoping that my neighboring colleague won’t notice, I cut off the phone, pressed a button to remove the speaker tone and dialed my client. This time I managed the right number. I spent the rest of the morning laughing at my state of total absent mindedness.

So, next time any of you are so preoccupied with making things work, remember that the brain can take so much multitasking per minute or per second. Information, planning and organizing overload can take the brain cells on a joyride.

I don't know what others would have done in my situation but I had to make an instant remedy to such a faux pas this morning, I took a tea break and added two entire spoonfuls of sugar to re-adjust my brain cells back into normal functioning level while still chuckling to myself.

Mark Twain: "There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy."

Facing Reality: "Situational Immobility"

I came to work today with a cloud over my head. My finals on Capital budgeting and Net profit value backfired under the showers of deep dark clouds. It rained heavily yesterday and transportation was a bare minimal, not to say, completely scarce.

Security in mobility is a huge factor here. Though transport situation is better than it used to be many years ago, people without a proper personal vehicle is decidedly prone to accidents and mugging and zero security. My friend Imti was mugged a couple of months ago while walking back to his place, bearing on his face, an interesting cut incurred from the spectacles that was punched into his forehead. My sister, who was mugged in an expensive taxi cab and red pepper rubbed into her eyes before her mobile phone and cash was confiscated, is another good example. My brother, also falling prey to local mugging, tried a few of his learnt karate punches without avail on the gang of thieves that hailed him on a rickshaw a few months ago and took his expensive mobile phone which I had given him on his birthday. I never saw him cry ever since he was a baby until that day. My colleague, lost his 7th mobile phone to the muggers’ victory while travelling in a CNG autorickshaw, his stories now are an entertainment in the office. The list could go on. But combine insecurity of public transportation, any form, to that of heavy rain showers accompanied by life threatening hail storms we have independence brought down to a bare minimum in Dhaka city.

And thus we all live here. Trying to make the most out of life and living.

I always relied on my spiritual instincts telling me what I should do and differentiating between what to do and what not to do. So far, my instincts hadn’t failed me. Even though each time life had provided a fork in the road for me, I had happily taken the detour, enjoying the scenery along the way; each detour in life pounced upon with joy and excitement. So, yesterday was really the first time I sighed because something as monumental as attending a final exam on time had made me realize that the absence of a constant "mobility factor" has started bothering me.

As the storm ensued with heavy downpour along with lightening and thunder, I sat resigned, and looked at the sky, which was different than the usual darker pleasant atmosphere during such heavy downpour. The sky was illuminously bright with sunlight shinning through the heavy rain. I wondered if there was a rainbow somewhere. The smell of the earth was not as good as it used to be; increased pollution and open drains replacing the smell of the earth with foul smell. While I tried to enjoy the situation, which was otherwise quite exasperating, I wondered whether I could attend the Capital Budgeting exam on time. In all these years, I was finally a sad victim to the situational condition relating to transportation in Dhaka city, and even if I was, it had not galled me before.

Does this type of situation prevail elsewhere in the world? I lived in Bangalore for five years and never did I have an issue with transport or weather condition causing a transportation problem. Nor did I have to unduly worry about transport and security for that matter. Someone had asked me a few days ago why I wasn’t married when I was 19yrs. Interesting enough, it had never before crossed my mind. Would I have been happy if I had been married before? How am I supposed to know? Looking back at the best proposal that came my way back at that age, I would have been situated in Texas right now, with about a few kids, possibly with or without a career. probably with a loving partner, or probably not. Would secure transport and heavy downpour cause such a frown if I that a result of that pathway? Would there be other issues that would have plagued me, perhaps.

But since I just didn’t tread a different path to my life as the one I am on right now, there is absolutely no possibility of visualising something that could have happened or not happened. I am a realist. I know one thing. I certainly need to do something about this mobility factor; I need to get back on the track of one Capital Budgeting Course of Managerial Finance that I cannot believe I have to re-take. And, I have to definitely get my life more organized. With that thought, coupled with the quote on my calendar made me take a few notes on a few details missing on my previous schedules, one such one will now include, checking on a better transport schedule. And I need to see if a car/ the car/ our car gets fixed before the end of the week, if not, I need to get a temporary one fixed to provide me a better and more secured transport facility during this monsoon season.

“You have limited energy, focus it on the things that matter”.

My list of Phobias

“I am scared of riding on rickshaws” I said to my friend Rozana last night when I was explaining to her how dangerous those flimsy looking entrapments looked on the highway, how I was petrified of having to cross the road in them, and how I felt the rickshaw pullers were inexperienced and failed to use a certain level of common sense to prevent danger. She told me it was ridiculous to be scared and stated how she was never scared of anything except God.

Perhaps she was right. The world really isn’t really full of scary things, fearsome uncertainties, and illusionary ogres just waiting to pounce on people who are scared of them.

But I am only human, I am still terrified of certain things, I may not be amongst those scared of spiders, snakes, heights, etc, but as I sat down today and listed some of the things that do scare me I came up with quite a few.

* Accidents- Dystychiphobia.

* Crowds or mobs- Enochlophobia, Demophobia or Ochlophobia.

* Death or dying- Thanatophobia.

* Flying- Aviophobia

* Ghosts or specters- Spectrophobia.

* Spirits- Pneumatiphobia.

* Burglars or being harmed by wicked persons- Scelerophobia.

* Operation, surgical- Tomophobia.

* Speed- Tachophobia.

* Streets, crossing streets- Dromophobia.

* Storm, thunder- Brontophobia.

I didn’t find the real term for “fear of exams” on the site so if any of you find the term I would love to know what it’s called.

I have learnt that a certain level of being scared is by not knowing. The other level is by knowing how it feels, like the accident I once had when I was young, I wasn’t hurt much but the traumatic experience had instilled a fear of automobiles in general for me.

The fear of crowds originated from another childhood experience. I was about 5yrs old, traveling with my parents to a distant village in South Nigeria to visit a Bengali doctor, a friend of my dad's, who was situated in a place called Ikare Akoko. On entering the remote town, suddenly, our car was surrounded by a tribal group of dancers attired in leaves, body painted in bright colors, celebrating a local festival. They all looked happy but I was so terrified that I had cowered in the car, certain we were all going to be killed and eaten up like it's done in the movies.

The clinical cure to phobias is apparently exposure treatment, so called because the patient is exposed to the phobic stimulus as part of the therapeutic process. Another form of cure is used is called counter-conditioning (Watson, 1924). In this form, one is trained to substitute a relaxation response for the fear response in the presence of the phobic stimulus

Check out your list of phobias here.