Karmic Friendship

Birds of the same feather flock together. But, when the birds flock together in the midst of the most interesting situation and what could be casual turns into a close friendship, than its worth much more than just flocking together. I have been luckily blessed with good friends all my life and they are all special. But Imti is one of the most special people I had met.

I and Imti met on the dance floor on a fated New Year’s Eve almost three years ago and thus, began a friendship that evolved over the years. And now, Imti is one of my closest friends and confidante. Not only did I have the most eventful life after meeting him, but my life sparkled with few good charms too, finally culminating in the phase where I met my other half. With little twists and turns in our lives ever since, we have now simultaneously, both reached a phase where we are, in our own way, looking forward to a turn of events that will take us through substantial change in our lives.

It suddenly made me wonder, yet again, of how some people come into our life for a season, some for a reason and a few for a lifetime. This is the first time ever, that someone has apparently made a difference by being in my life for all three – season, reason and hopefully will stay a lifetime.

One thing both I and Imti have in common: Two shiny front teeth, completely surgically installed.

One thing we discovered recently: I am soon going to be his niece. (Touch wood)

"Talk the Talk"

A few months ago, during a random statement, I had blurted out unconsciously, “We could talk the talk” and than chuckled at myself, realizing that statement was made unconsciously and spontaneously and did not resemble anything I had ever learnt in prose or grammar in my life.

But now, after inadvertently coming across this statement twice already in magazines and newspapers, I realized that it is actually used all over the world, as a slang of the 65-American Subculture.

Somehow, this trend of using the phrases “talking the talk, and walking the walk” has found its way into the fashion English of today in Bangladesh just as subtly as the induction of western culture. Maheen Khan in the Daily Star Lifestyle magazine is found as quoted “But if you are a real fashion casualty then you will take it one step further. You will have to walk the walk”.

The moral of this blog entry is "It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong."- GK Chesterton.

Festive Eid Cooking

I have been berated enough the past couple of days for being tardy with my blogs. The worst thing about reuniting with a habit is that it takes a while to get back on track. The same thing prevails while sending emails to friends. Once I stop the flow and allow a brief pause to presume, it takes a while wondering and deciding what to write about and where to start.

So, on Eid day, I asked my friend Farhana and she gave me a definite clue. Eid and food! Sumptuous biryani, polao, misti and meat curries! I guess food and cooking as I presume is not quite a tale to begin with, except that Farhana said she liked the chicken curry I had prepared for Eid. Long time ago, when I was young and willful I was a terrible cook, in fact, I was no cook at all. It was an impossible feat to even boil an egg. So, when Farhana said she didn’t feel comfortable cooking an omelet I knew exactly what she meant.

But than, as the story unfolds, like Alice in wonderland, once upon a time, I finally found out I was alone on my own while in Bangalore and didn’t even know how to properly feed myself. I was hungry for home-made-food, lost, daunted and appalled. I decided to take a few courses and finally, the impossible turned into the possible. My room mate installed the music system in the kitchen and as soon as both of us would come back from work, we would head into the kitchen, turn on the music, dance, sing and cook. Voila. It was fun!

So now, whenever my mom and I cook at home and I turn on the CD player she finds it quite amusing, I find it absolutely therapeutic!

”There is no use trying”, said Alice; “one can't believe impossible things”. “I dare say you haven't had much practice”, said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”. Lewis Carroll

An Unfinished Life

Today as I was watching the movie “An unfinished life” on HBO starring Robert Redford, Jennifer Lopez and Morgan Freeman, I was mesmerized.

Yesterday, an episode had saddened me. And somehow subconsciously, I linked the movie to the incident of the young faculty whose death was yet another result of an increasing rate of crime in the city. The young man, who just got married last year and was supposed to leave for Australia to pursue a PhD degree in February, instead, had to let go of an unfinished life!

So, I paused and wondered if there was something missing from my life. Of course there is something missing, I would like to get married and so on. There is something always missing from all our lives. Oprah says, “That’s the nature of life, that there is always something missing from it. It’s not a problem”, she says, “The reverse would be a problem, the life with nothing missing in it. The life without options, without hope, without pain, the unfinished and incomplete life is the only life”. She says “People who do not live in Paris do not live in Fiji. People who run successful businesses are unable to compose folk songs. Keep chasing the void and you loose the moment. So her theory is that there is nothing missing right now, there is everything, air and water and however your body feels and the people who love you and the people who don’t and the people who have did and the and the music and the disease and the job and the idea and the challenge and the dinner and your shoes -- there are so many things right now that there is no room for a void. There is nothing missing”.

She continues by saying that “Maybe it's the metaphor of consumerism eating our lives. Maybe it's the constant drumbeat of information from all sides with one common message: Something is missing. Government control is missing, or freedom is missing, or high colonics or adequate fiber or really great tires or true fulfillment or smart children or good drugs or safe meat or the secrets of the Pyramids or better beer or better hair or better boyfriends/girlfriends/friends”.

That’s what Oprah thinks. I think, everyone has something to search for, look forward to, and complete life with. So that when we look back, we can smile and be happy for doing all that we ever wanted to do and have everything that we ever wished for. Everyone has that right to live life to the fullest. And the truncation of such a life so abruptly is a terribly sad thing.

A Kid's Tale...

"You don't get to choose who you love, just how you love them." --Deanna R.

As I worked with small children of the ages of 4yrs for the past two days on a voluntary basis I realized how sensitive and at the same time how "tough" they can be.

Today, while I was assisting a toddlers’ group in selecting different pictorial collections of consecutive actions I observed two things. The first one is that they expect appreciation from someone they love being with and two, if they don’t get attention followed by accolades in galore, they can actually hold back an eyeful of tears, multitude expressions of dismay, hurt and disappointment flashing across their face and lodging in a place in the tiny corner of their hearts.

And just as suddenly, they can forget their woe and their needs and start afresh with sudden spurts of interest, jump into another activity, reaching for another form of appreciation.

From my point of view, it’s great to feel like a kid, enjoying life, moment by little moments.

The best compliment I received in the past 24hrs was: “You can be a substitute for a teacher but no one can be your substitute”

My Cheese Moved

Time has indeed played an ancient role in taking over, covering in its wake, a tremulous plethora of activities strewn across my path for the past two months.

Before my trip to Singapore, little did I know that I was about to venture into the world of the unknown as never seen before. Those who know the facts can tell how a series of events have awakened a fresh start and a new beginning in my life. Gone are the tiring days, the stressful moments, the long hours of work and tension creating deep furrows on my forehead, sleepless nights and moments of acute worry over work related troubles. If life had gotten more stressful I know I would have been prepared, even if working hours got longer than my usual 18hrs a day, seven days a week.

Those were my exact thoughts back than.

However, now when I look back, at the activities of the last two months, it has made me reminisce with wonder, how unknown forces have orchestrated my planned life into different and brand new vivid forms, painting colors of rainbows followed by a moment of sunshine. We can never tell how, just when we have figured out life and its pathways, a different fork in the road appears, providing an opportunity to follow a separate goal in life with a different destination. That is life as it is and its peccadilloes. What can I say?

For now, I am a happily engaged woman. Before my trip to Singapore I had no clue whatsoever about how my life will be changing over the month but it did and how!

My fiancé and I have known each other for eight months now, it was a wonder how things turned out the way it did, unfolding like a beautiful flower, after we decided that we were just right for each other everything just escalated, ending in a glorious dream-like engagement ceremony last month.

Now, that my cheese has been moved, my plans need to shift gears. And all I can say is, any change is a good change. We just don’t realize how much when it happens, but once it does, and there is time to reflect, we can only look up and thank the unknown forces for being there, watching out for us!

Eight Things You Would Hate About Me

More than a month ago, my friend Imti tagged me with the Memeaphilia. The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

I have to admit that this took me a long time to decide upon. I remember when, seven years ago, I had walked in for a job interview in Marketing and the first thing I was asked was to state out my weak habits and I had replied with stark confidence, “I don’t have any!” Needless to say, I got the job.

However, this time, I actually had to take a poll from my friends to find out what they hate about me and it was more difficult than I thought it would be. Like, how difficult is it for people to just say “ oh what’s not nice about you is….”, but everyone is very nice nowadays and are more subtle than they used to be when I was in school.

So finally, after deciphering nodes, stares and smiles with a few comments, I have come up with my list.

· Habit: Whenever I am in a new place or there is a special occasion I simply have to take pictures. I remember when I was young, I had this ridiculously huge lens camera with a gigantic flash and I made people pose for hours during the occasion to the point of frustration. However, it also means I have more childhood snaps than any of my classmates.

· Habit: I tend to forget names, faces and places where people work. I tried reading a book on it to improve my memory where we were advised to associate each new face with a word or a character and than link it to the name. It worked for a while until I forgot what characters I had associated it with. I had more difficulty remembering the words and characters more than the people.

· Fact: I am a tad too confident when it comes to decision making and proving points. I would lay the foundations of such a fact emanating in my life to my honorable friends who have been terribly supportive all my life to the point of even spoiling me a bit. Whatever I ever said always “seemed” to make a little sense or I just assumed it did. Sometimes it can make me a bit independent in nature. I just try not to let it bother other’s lives. In future, however, I will have to learn how to listen, cooperate and appreciate other's thoughts while and during decision making.

· Fact: I can appear to be utterly cold and unromantic when it comes to matters of the heart. Some might even call me a bit insensitive. The good point is that its just an exterior that I use as a shield sometimes to feel less vunerable.

· Fact: I am not easily flattered. In fact, too many compliments a day could actually turn me suspicious. Sincere compliments however, is another matter altogether.

· Fact: If I do not believe in a certain cause, nothing but blind love can allow me to join it.

· Fact: I am scared of anything that borders around Scary, Freaky and Horror encompassed. All my friends that had good reasons to cajole me to watch horror movies even on the tiniest screen possible have been duly disappointed. So please think twice. It won't be worth the trouble, I swear.

And finally....the eight one...

I think I will have to do another research to find that out.

Rush Hours and Singapore Trip Ahead

It so happens that each time the clock turns 12, I sigh. Another day swishes by, and the days are going so fast its difficult to keep track of time. I am extremely busy these days, I wonder if things will get worse in the coming months at work.

I am looking forward to my trip to Singapore this weekend. I need to lay down my hair and really relax for a change. I still have thousands of things to do before my trip. As always, it all gets piled up till the end of the tenth hour.

The Money Angel

Money, money, money!

Drowning in plenty, Who can value anything. When nothing is denied? Foolish ads we all heed. Then buy things we don’t need, Driven by greed that Can’t be satisfied.

Poem by Neil Harding McAlister

Today a lot of people sent around this forward on Money Angel. After deleting it a couple of times, I finally smiled and decided to put it on my blog.

The song by BoneyM "Money Money Money" has a catchy tune and is an old time favorite. It has that word in it that rings in your ears for a long long time. (There is a word for this that escapes my mind right now). Ever since I was a tiny blob I had learnt the value of money, starting from the time I started saving up to buy a white ink whitener at the age of 7yrs.

I have learnt over the years that money addiction never goes away once it begins. We always feel that if we earn more we can save more and all that. But in reality, we realise that in our niche of the society, the more we earn, the bigger our needs get.

So the idea is to watch out for the money addiction bug and than, happy shopping!

Thinking Outside the Box

Here is a picture taken at a colleague’s wedding last week. I have been working at my present company for almost three years and I have never been happier. (Touchwood)

But career life was not always this happy. In my life, I have met people who have not been very appreciative of my presence in this world. They are the ones that provide those negative vibes that I tend to avoid. Every time one of us meets such a person, do we really sit back and reflect why these people do what they do, and why to us? In this fast paced life, I hardly have time to deal with people and their problems. But what if the problem lies with us?

The weirdest things happened to me after I got back to town and got myself a good job. Initially, people who appeared friendly, and who in fact I had known from before, suddenly besieged me into an arena filled with negative vibes that threw me off balance. I tried everything possible to get back into their acceptable books, but nothing deemed successful, not even when I remembered birthdays, wedding ceremonies and so on.

With internal objection from certain colleagues, I had several incidences that had me reduced to tears in an attempt to fit in. I had my computer wires dismantled, username on my logon address changed slightly so that I was not aware of it at moments of emergency. I have been alienated from social groups at the workplace, and when I tried being friendly I was looked upon with ironic indifference. I was talked about in whispers and I was avoided in public places.

After so many years now, after joining a new company, whenever I go back to visit my ex colleagues, not only are they really friendly but they actually are very nice. So, finally I have learnt that whatever the cause was for their initial behavior while I was working there, it was not because of who I was.

Every time we face disapproval, our instant thought is to take it personally, but over time, I have learnt that things are usually not personal. There might be an event, an occasion or a situation that could be causing this behavior from others. So, before we force ourselves to fall prey to negative feelings and self demotivation, we should try to "think outside the box".

"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." (Anne Frank, 1929-45, German Jewish diarist and holocaust victim, from The Diary of Anne Frank, entry dated 15 July 1944.)